i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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