Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize