Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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