I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
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