I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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