Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My liver just had a heart attack.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize