hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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