On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize