i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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