If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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