Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize