he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
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