AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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