i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize