yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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