if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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