just come out here and I will go home with you...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
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is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
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She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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