I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
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You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
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You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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