apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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