Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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