She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize