dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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