I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize