That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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