I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
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A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
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Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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