If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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