Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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