My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Just pee around me
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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