so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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