Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
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