I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It's shark week go big or go home
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize