if you like me you must not know who I am
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
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So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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