I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize