I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize