just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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