in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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