You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize