She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize