I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize