So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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