so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
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that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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