He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize