I'm lost and stupid without you.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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