we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
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I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
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the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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