took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
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Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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