i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize