Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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