...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize