I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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