That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize