wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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